Monday, 24 May 2010

Lost: 2004 - 2010

The world watched in solemn unison last night, as the final minutes of one of the most beloved icons of our time were broadcast live across the globe.

The hit television show Lost, which first aired on ABC in September 2004, was pronounced dead by network executives yesterday. It was six seasons old.

Many have said that it had been deteriorating visibly in recent years, and its final departure did not come as a shock, as millions of close personal fans stayed with it to the last. It is said to have had a dignified exit from this world.

"It's hard to accept that it's really gone," said Bernice Moneyhonster, a molecular biologist and devotee of the show. "Even when you know it's coming, you never quite believe that the day's going to arrive. I'm glad I was there in the final moments, though. I like to think I helped provide its viewing figures with some modicum of comfort toward the end. It was so young," she sighed, "and had so many contrived and artificial plot twists yet unexplored."

"Seriously, they could've kept that shit up for decades," she added.

Lost had no children, but does leave behind several younger shows which, while not its direct offspring, were greatly influenced by its legacy. A memorial service, scheduled for mid-June, is expected to be attended by Fringe and Warehouse 13.

Tributes from the departed drama's colleagues have been pouring in. While Heroes could not be reached for comment, the Fox drama 24 is quoted as saying: "Lost is dead? No! It can't be!!"

There was then a massive nuclear explosion which devastated the city of Los Angeles.

As a mourning planet begins to move on with their lives, the atmosphere is still universally one of grief and loss, but also relief that at least everyone can stop banging on about that fucking polar bear now.

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