Friday, 28 May 2010

Sex And The City sequel released

In a move condemned by numerous humanitarian organisations, and denounced by several world governments as "reckless", a sequel to the 2008 film Sex and the City has been released on an unsuspecting public.

Sex and the City 2 has been in production since August 2009, and while many dismissed the threats as mere posturing, New Line Cinema have gone ahead with their plans to distribute it worldwide this week. The amount of enriched uranium required to make the film active has never been disclosed.

Cinema-goers in the US have already reported nausea, vomiting, temporary blindness, PTSD, and malignant tumours, as a result of the damaging effects of the movie. Mental health activists are among those calling for government sanctions to prevent film studios from being able to wreak this kind of havoc in future.

"It was horrifying," wept Nathan Donglebrewster, who lost all the hair on 90% of his body after attending a preview screening yesterday. "I can't even think of it. Don't make me. Please don't make me go back to that place."

"The horror... the horror," he added.

The original 2008 film is estimated to have caused more than $400 million worth of devastation worldwide, and New Line Cinema are heartlessly predicting that the sequel will be an even greater blot on the history of our species.

Sex and the City 2 is released in theatres nationwide today, certificate 15.

(inspired by... actually, if you don't know, I don't want to sully you with it)

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